No Sick Days in Sabertooth
by Thinkette
Summary: It's just another normal day in the Sabertooth Guild. Rogue is ill, Yukino is helpful, Sting is frisky and Minerva is murderous. But what else is new?


The sounds coming from the room were absolutely inhuman. No creature on the planet could muster up so much angst, despair and absolute loathing in a single grunt.

No one, except for, of course, Rogue.

Sting had been pulled from his blissful sleep by a wailing Frosh and a distressed Lector who was trying to calm her. Nothing would console the small kitten, however, and she continued screaming that Rogue was dying, and she was so, so very sad about it all. And, of course, being Sting, he just had to see or hear, firsthand, the misery his partner was going through.

….Okay, so maybe Minerva's own sadism was rubbing off on him, but it was 3 am in the morning and the cat wouldn't stop crying, so Sting might as well indulge.

So, the blond dragonslayer stood up, clad in only his heart-covered boxers, and made his way out of his room and across the hall where his partner slept. The entire hall was very quiet, as it was only inhabited by the top 10 mages, four of which were off on missions. Minerva's room was at the very end of the hall, across from Rufus's, her own personal hair stylist, and Orga's was next to his. Yukino, though new, was in the hallway, her room right next to Sting's. Usually, Orga would be blasting his music and Rufus would be politely knocking on his door muttering "Please, turn it down." Until he got fed up, and just got the broom, whacking at the walls until all was calm.

Yeah, no one said that Sabertooth was normal by ANY stretch of the imagination.

Still, it was perfectly calm, almost eerily so in a sense.

Except for the groaning.

Hesitantly, the blond, set his ear to the door and knew it was Rogue. He smirked as he listened to the absolute unhappiness permeating the thick wood of his door, getting louder. But then, he heard the disgusting sound of vomit and promptly pulled away from the door in disgust, grimacing.

He sighed.

Great, Rogue was sick. The man hardly ever shows any kind of weakness and he was throwing up his guts in the middle of the night, unwilling to tell anyone? Jeez, he was going to drive himself insane if he kept doing that.

So, like any good friend, Sting decided that he was going to help his partner!

….By going to Minerva, the crankiest woman in the entire guild, with little to no motherly instincts and a very, VERY tiny tolerance for being annoyed.

He knocked on her door as obnoxiously as possible, and even after he heard her shout profanities that would make sailors blush, he kept at it. When the footsteps were heard, he pulled away and struck a semi-normal pose, that just so happened to make him look even more attractive than he already was, if he should say so himself.

She threw the door open and practically spat acid at him, her hair a disheveled mess, eyes blearily half opened, glaring as if he was the most offensive thing on the face of the planet.

And of course, it wouldn't stop Sting one bit.

"Minerva, my love, we have a situation."

"I DESPISE you, what the HELL do you want?" she asked, not letting up her glare.

"Just follow me, my delicate flower."

"God, I hate you." She said, looking like the world would explode from a single glance if she so demanded. As he turned, his muscular back on display for her, all she wanted to do was shoot laser beams from her eyes so he would never bother her beauty sleep again. She followed nonetheless, dragging her feet as he came to a stop in front of Rogue's door. He made the motion of her to set her ear against the wood and she rolled her eyes venomously but did so, listening in.

"I hate all of humanity….my life is so worthless. I hate living." Rogue groaned weakly. Minerva knit her eyebrows together and then pulled away briefly.

"I don't see the problem…he sound normal to me. In fact, it seems like this is him on a good da-"

The sound of vomiting broke through her words.

She wrinkled her nose, delicate face etched in disgust. "….ew."

"Yeah."

After a moment, she stood up straighter and folded her arms. "…Well…what the hell do you want me to do about it?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I just wanted your company." He said slyly, sliding up close to her as she made a sick sort of sound in the back of her throat.

"One of these days, I'll finally just GUT you." She spat.

"You can do whatever you want to me as long as-"

Suddenly, the click of a door permeated the hall. "What's going on here?" Rufus interrupted, his clipped, well mannered speech breaking through the beautifully witty banter. Sting scowled at him.

"Oh, come on! I was about to make a move!"

"That's inappropriate." He said dryly.

"Aren't you always making a move?" Orga asked, coming to stand by Rufus, seemingly out of nowhere. The entire group looked so miss mashed it was insane. The tallest had on plain black pants and white wife-beater, providing a stark contrast to Rufus's purple silk pajama set. Minerva stood proudly, as if in evening wear despite only having on a pair of boy short underwear and a lacy bra, and Sting was still only in the heart-boxers, trying to squeeze as close to the viper-esque woman.

Minerva rolled her eyes. "I'm the only normal one out of all of us." She said, shoving Sting into the opposite wall and sweeping her angry glance to each of them. "What are YOU two doing up?"

"I was simply buffing my nails for the night, about to retire after I dusted my room when I heard the knocking." Rufus replied, flicking his hair back over his shoulder.

"…I was waiting for everyone to sleep so I could play my music." Orga said, shrugging. Rufus glared but the taller man paid no attention, simply smirking.

"How did you people make it to the top of the pack?" Minerva asked, muttering under her breath.

"Never mind that." Sting said, grasping her and pressing her against him once more. "We have more important things to discuss." He claimed, running a hand down her back even as she charged her magic, ready to blow his head off.

"You have a total of THREE seconds to get your filthy mitts off of-"

"Finally, we embrace!" Sting called out, pressing his cheek against hers almost painfully.

"No! This is NOT appropriate!" Rufus said, trying to be heard over Orga's loud laughter.

"I'm going to SLAUGHTER YOU!" the black haired woman screamed. "Every last ONE of you, until you're just microscopic masses of plain stupidit-"

"Um…what's going on?" Yukino asked, peering out from her own room, her white, filmy nightgown glowing in the light.

Every mage in the hall was silent as the sound of angry vomiting came from Rogue's room again, making the white haired woman's eyes grow wide and concerned as she fisted the fabric of her gown, biting her lip. "Is…is he ill?" she asked, voice small and hesitant.

Sting didn't even bother looking in her general direction before he grinned. "Say, Yukino. Be a doll and take care of it while Minerva and I have our bonding time."

"For the LAST time, I am NOT your mate and NEVER will be-"

"Shush!" he said, dramatically clasping his hand over her mouth as she glared even harder. "No need to speak anymore, for I am here to take you to bliss-OW! You bit me!" he screamed, drawing his hand away.

"Curse you! Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your entire FAMILY!" Minerva screeched, trying to tug herself out of his grip and then growing still and confused when she saw his expression.

"Well, one: I don't have a family. And two: has anyone ever told you how sexy you are when you're angry?"

The woman all but screeched as she seemed to hook her nails into his shoulder, drawing blood. "Fuck. Off", she hissed. Sting smirked.

"Your wish is my command, my love. Come on baby!" he said, flipping her so she was tossed over his shoulder.

"INNAPROPRIATE!" Rufus screamed again, tangling his hands in his hair while Minerva beat at Sting's back, half screaming until he slammed the door shut behind her, opening it for only a moment so he could place the basket containing the two sleeping exceeds into the hallway, only to shut it again.

The three remaining mages in the hallway looked incredibly uncomfortable as the heard the muffled yelling of their lead member. "You stupid, hideous, idiotic oaf of a ma-ooooh, oh, that feels niiiiiiiice."

"….I'm going to lock myself in my room and sing so loud, I'll forget this EVER happened." Orga said, turning on his heel and dragging a crumpled down Rufus off to their separate rooms, leaving a very, VERY confused celestial mage in the hallway.

She blinked, and blinked once more before she crossed the sea of plush carpeting, knocking twice and opening the door to Rogue's room. In the corner of the entire place was the bathroom, and the young woman stepped in, seeing him kneeling in front of the porcelain throne, his cheek against the cool seat.

"My life is worthless." He mutters, his black boxers low on his hips, hair sweaty and eyes half closed.

"….Rogue?" she asked. "Do you need some help?"

"I can…handle myself," the man muttered, even as he shook. Yukino almost scowled in sympathy before she knelt in front of him and rubbed his back, even as he continued to be sick. After a few minutes, he seemed to calm down and she stood. Rogue squeezed his eyes shut, preparing himself to be left alone again only to hear her gather washcloths and a towel, laying them on his bedside table. He cracked one eye open just in time to see her bend over and set down a bucket by his bed. She smiled when she turned.

Carefully, she walked back and wrapped her arms around him so she could drag him off to the haven of warm blankets and a soft mattress. He grumbled every step of the way while secretly enjoying the comfort she was providing until she went ahead and laid him down on the mattress, wrapping him in a cocoon of his blanket.

When she sat down, the bed dipped barely, and she stroked his hair out of his face before setting a cool washcloth on his forehead, smiling down at him gently.

"Next time you're sick, please tell someone." She pleaded.

He simply muttered to himself and she stood to go and leave him to his rest when he whipped out his hand and grabbed her wrist.

Surprised, she looked back at him instantly, only to be tugged closer: a silent question as to whether she'd stay or not. She decided to lay down on top of the sheets, grinning.

.

.

The next day, the couple bonded over their symphony of sick, their sneezing, coughing, hacking and hatred of the world palpable while Frosh beat against Sting's door, held back by Lector, wailing about how Rogue and Yukino both were going to meet their ill fated end.

Minerva opened the door and nearly suffocated them both with a pillow, her bare form half blinding Rufus as he was going to brush his teeth.

After the little fit, she slammed the door closed once more and plopped back on the ONLY person who could wake her up and get away with it was lying next to her, and too close, might she add. With a sneer, she shoved Sting a good three inches off to the side as she took up as much room as she so pleased, losing the space when the blond instantly latched onto her form, snuggling.

She rolled her eyes, absentmindedly running a single hand through his spiky hair. One day, she was going to kill him; but not when he looked so darn cute wearing those stupid boxers, banging on her door at all hours of the damn morning and enduring her taunting. He gets to live another day. But if he got sick, she flat out refused to play nurse.

But oddly enough, a week later, when Sting caught Rogue and Yukino's flu, the day after he was ill for the first time, Minerva was suddenly sick as well.

What a strange coincidence.

* * *

**...I wrote this like five billion years ago. **

**Might as well release it into the world. **

**I'mnotevenalittlebitsorry. Btw, UNPOPULAR OPINION! I will forever live in the world where Minerva was an unbeatable BAMF and just yesss, that woman is like my girl-crush. I adore her. Probably always will.  
**


End file.
